Perception is Everything

Greetings, friends!

I hope your holiday festivities were filled with joy and laughter in the company of those you love and cherish.

{insert warm, mushy, “hallmark moment” sentiments here}

(Hmm… that felt a little bit Scroogy… a little…)

I enjoyed my holiday…. the food, the booze, the laughter, and the mini emotional breakdown the following afternoon.

Yes, I spent a large portion of Christmas Day curled in a ball inside my fleece jacket behind the garage bawling my eyes out.  Hey, it happens. (Actually, no, it doesn’t. I don’t remember the last time I cried like this… I usually don’t cry.  I have a very strong clamp on crying.  It is an extremely rare occurence.)

These mini breakdowns occur more frequently and with greater ease than before… before I had my major breakdown a few years ago. (I didn’t cry back then, when I felt like I had died inside, so… if that isn’t fucked up, I don’t know what is!)

It’s the same bullshit stuff…. self-loathing, feelings of rejection, worthlessness and inadequacy, wishing I would just die already.  This struggle is usually accompanied by a deep and intense desire to run away from everything and everyone forever.  This time was different, though.  I am more aware of my habits and patterns now than I was a few years ago.

I could run away, but no matter where I go, my pains, problems, and perceptions would follow me, and I would still be miserable.  I realize that I don’t actually want to run away from my environment or other people.  I want to run away from me!  (If I could just have a vacation from myself…!!!)

There are some truths, though, that must be experienced… felt deeply… before they become part of my personal reality.  That afternoon, I fully experienced some truth…

  1. I am enough.
  2. I am acceptable.
  3. I am love.

I’ve known these truths about myself in theory.  Everyone knows these things about themselves in theory.  How many of us know them as part of our very existence? As intimately as our breath?

My mind is caught in the push and pull of living in polarity, the law of opposites.  It is always trying to figure things out and make sense of everything, but because it filters almost everything through fear, my perception becomes distorted, foggy.  It is easy to forget that my perception isn’t truth when it feels so real.  I must constantly remind myself that feelings are not facts, fear is an illusion, and all the negative bullshit my mind tells me about myself and others isn’t reality.

What is reality?

Reality is that I am made of light, the whole world and everyone and everything in it is made of the same light, and LOVE is the great force holding everything together.

So you see, when you meet someone struggling with their perception… about themselves or their situation… you can’t save them or make them change, but you can love them and remind them of what they are made.

Remind them that their perception is a powerful tool for creating their reality.

Shine on, friends!

Love,

Rachel

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